it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
