talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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