I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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