Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
