Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
