Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
