We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
