Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
