Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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