Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...

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(917): View more from New York City

she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

Fav 74 4314 18528
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...

Fav 14 1374 4664
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(860): View more from Connecticut

im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict

Fav 11 2747 2434
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(914): View more from New York

I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.

Fav 7 4214 1201
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(312): View more from Illinois

OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???

Fav 4 1075 724
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(626): View more from California

I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption

Fav 1 77 15
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him

Fav 0 21 62
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