I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
