I'm lost and stupid without you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We don't watch enough power rangers
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize