I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
