Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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