lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
