Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Someone came in the potted fern
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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