don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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