apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
