After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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