Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize