you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
