Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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