The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
