yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
