We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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