Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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