In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize