i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize