I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
