She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
