Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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