Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
