i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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