Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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