Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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