im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
