I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
