I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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