i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize