walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
