we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize