is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
