Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
