I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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