You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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