she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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