It's Friday. Sex?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize