were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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