Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
