I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
