Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
