i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
