just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
