i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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