maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize