I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
