Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
