I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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