ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
