So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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