He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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