I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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