I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
