People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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