He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
