Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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