Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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