The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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