i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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