I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
