Your tits are I can't wait for
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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