Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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