..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
