everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
