Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize