how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
