he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize