Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Don't make out with my wife yet
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am spending my child support on dildos
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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