it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize