So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
